CATASTROPHY.

Of the bad kind.

To the vast legions of new readers, I happen to hold the highly prestigious position of Desktop Support – IV in the Plant Sciences Dept at UCD. I fix computers for a most generous but what will remain undisclosed sum of monies with which to sustain my lust for all things electronic.

Now this job comes with certain perks. Such as a GEM car. Now the particular rendition of GEM car that I drive has an odd cargo space reminescent of something one might find at your friendly mobile food stand. IE, side panels that swing upwards.

TODAY. I was driving around UCD. Having had the central campus access pass stolen from our vehicle recently, I was forced to improvise a way onto campus. This improvised way involved many illegal things (none of which will be described in great detail). At the moment of interest, I found myself driving on the sidewalk next to a great number of light posts.

-Now unbeknownst to me, the side panels of my particular GEM car are imbued with the singular feature of opening automatically as one is jostled by a slight defect in the road. At UCD, there are many slight defects on the road.

As I cruise merrily along at a nice leisurely pace of perhaps 10 miles an hour, not more than a feet away from a light post, it just so happens that my side panel was open. Outwards. Towards the light post.

Boom.

Now aluminum despite having high tensile strength does not fare well in a contest against a 1 meter thick light post. Suffice to say the structural integrity of the cargo container was.. gravely compromised. There was much crushing and crunching ehh and a little bit of gnawing… to my great (and I cannot overemphasize great) dismay.

After much general panic as well as a few choice obscenities directed at the light post, I limped back home to face the impending wrath of my boss. Oddly enough, I was not fired on the spot. However this does not bode well for my future career at that place.

I spent the rest of the day disassembling my mangled GEM car. And salvaging parts from it. And reassembling it.

I forsee many many days spent attempting novice repairs on that GEM car….

>a very sad rlyconfused