“Paris Hilton was arrested for cocaine possession. In her defense, it was in Las Vegas. Paris says someone else left their cocaine in her purse. In legal circles, this is known as the Lindsay Lohan defense.” — Craig Ferguson on Paris Hilton being arrested for cocaine possession … Continue reading…Craig Ferguson On Paris Hilton Being Arrested For Cocaine Possession
“Health officials in Oregon have shut down a 7-year-old girl’s lemonade stand because she didn’t have a license. Officials haven’t issued a statement yet. They’re busy popping ballon animals and stomping on sand castles.” — Craig Ferguson on Oregon Health Officials shutting down a 7-year-old girl’s lemonade stand … Continue reading…Craig Ferguson On Oregon Health Officials Shutting Down A 7-Year-Old Girl’s Lemonade Stand
“There’s a new bill in the Senate that would give the president the power to shut off the Internet. Al Gore is strongly opposed to it, not because he invented the Internet, but because he just signed up for Match.com.” — Craig Ferguson on the potential presidential power to shut off the Internet … Continue reading…Craig Ferguson On The Potential Presidential Power To Shut Off The Internet
“The three drunkest cities in America: Fresno, Riverside, and whatever Mel Gibson is driving through.” — Craig Ferguson on the three drunkest cities in America … Continue reading…Craig Ferguson On The Three Drunkest Cities In America
“CBS announced they’re canceling As The World Turns. Don’t worry though, if you’re addicted to the twisted plots, the intrigue, the illicit sex, you can still watch golf.” — Craig Ferguson on the CBS cancellation of As The World Turns … Continue reading…Craig Ferguson On The CBS Cancellation Of As The World Turns